Why Don’t They Trust Me?

You’ve probably heard the phrase “trust takes years to build and seconds to break.” In the workplace—especially in diversity, equity, and inclusion (DEI) work—that couldn’t be more accurate.

Trust is the glue that holds leadership credibility together. Without it, even the most well-written strategies and heartfelt commitments risk being seen as hollow words. And here’s the kicker: trust isn’t just about what leaders say—it’s about what they do, repeatedly, over time.

In this post, based on the latest What’s the DEIL? episode, we’re unpacking the role of trust in leadership, the dangers of a perception gap between leaders and employees, and how to intentionally build trusted spaces that last.

The Leadership Confidence Gap

During assessments with over 30 senior leaders representing organizations totaling more than 15,000 employees, one statistic jumped out:

Seventy-five percent of those leaders expressed concern about whether their organizations could actually deliver on their DEI commitments.

This wasn’t employees doubting leadership—it was leaders doubting themselves. That lack of internal confidence inevitably trickles down, shaping how teams perceive the organization’s ability to change.

It’s not just about confidence either. In the same group, 90% of leaders didn’t see themselves as active participants in core processes like recruiting, defaulting to HR to “bring them the right candidates.” That mindset signals a disconnect between leadership roles and the hands-on work DEI requires.

When Leaders and Employees See Different Realities

The nonprofit Just Capital found a 20% gap between how leaders and employees perceive their organization’s commitment to DEI. While 94% of leaders believed their company was committed, only 74% of employees agreed.

That gap matters. It represents more than a difference of opinion—it’s a measure of trust. Employees base their views on lived experience: how leaders show up, make decisions, and enforce accountability. Leaders often judge commitment based on stated intentions and policy language.

Bridging that gap requires aligning what’s on paper with what happens in practice.

Why “Safe Spaces” Aren’t the Goal

Many organizations talk about creating “safe spaces,” but here’s the reality: you can’t guarantee what feels safe for another person. People’s sense of safety is shaped by personal history, identity, and lived experiences.

Instead, focus on creating trusted spaces—environments where employees believe they can speak honestly, take interpersonal risks, and know they’ll be treated fairly. Unlike safety, trust is something leaders can actively influence through consistent behavior, transparent communication, and follow-through.

The Four Elements of Trust

According to the dictionary, trust is a firm belief in someone’s reliability, truth, ability, or strength. Let’s break that down for leaders:

1. Reliability – Do you consistently follow through on commitments, even in small ways?

2. Truth – Are you transparent, even when the news isn’t good?

3. Ability – Do you have (or bring in) the expertise needed to deliver on your promises?

4. Strength – Will you show courage when making difficult decisions or addressing hard truths?

Trust is measurable through these actions. If any element is missing, it’s noticeable.

Trust-Building Is a Practice, Not an Event

Trust can’t be built in a single meeting, an offsite retreat, or a one-time listening session. Just like physical fitness, it’s developed through consistent effort.

That means:

• Investing time in genuine conversations, not just transactional check-ins

• Sharing appropriate personal details so people see you as human, not just a title

• Looking for common ground to foster connection

• Engaging regularly, not only when problems arise

When leaders make time to know their people, they’re more likely to spot early warning signs of disengagement or brewing conflict.

Practical Ways to Build Trusted Spaces

Here are actionable steps leaders can take:

• Start small conversations: Ask team members to share one word describing their week. It’s simple, but it opens the door to deeper discussion.

• Be consistent: Don’t greet only the people nearest to your desk or in your inner circle. Make an effort to connect with everyone.

• Balance sharing: Be authentic without oversharing. Give enough of yourself to create relatability without blurring professional boundaries.

• Embed trust in goals: Make relationship-building an intentional part of your performance objectives.

Remember: the goal isn’t to become best friends with every employee—it’s to create conditions where people believe they can be candid with you without fear of repercussion.

The Cost of Neglecting Trust

When leaders neglect trust-building, they leave room for misunderstandings, perceived favoritism, and disengagement to fester. Over time, those conditions can lead to higher turnover, more complaints, and a weaker culture overall.

Conversely, leaders who make trust a daily practice build credibility that makes it easier to navigate tough conversations, implement change, and retain top talent.

Closing the Gap

Trust isn’t just a “soft skill”—it’s a strategic asset. It drives performance, strengthens culture, and supports every DEI initiative you implement. The most effective leaders don’t assume trust; they earn it.

By acting with reliability, telling the truth, demonstrating ability, and showing strength, you can turn the abstract idea of trust into a tangible part of your leadership legacy.

If your DEI strategy isn’t delivering, start by asking yourself: Do my people trust me to lead it?

Connect With Us

If you found this discussion compelling, we invite you to connect with us further. Here are some ways to stay in touch:

• Follow Natalie Norfus on LinkedIn
• Follow Shanté Gordon on LinkedIn
• Book a consultation with The Norfus Firm
• Follow What’s the DEIL on Instagram and TikTok