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ToggleWe’ve been there. Sitting in the airport at midnight, drained from back-to-back trainings, staring at our laptops thinking, “Why are we still going this hard?” Or worse, not even realizing how burned out we are until the signs start screaming at us — fatigue that sleep doesn’t fix, a creeping detachment from work we once loved, or finding ourselves short-fused with teammates we genuinely care about.
This bonus episode of What’s the DEIL? wasn’t part of the original plan. It’s an interruption — the kind that forces you to pause, reflect, and ask better questions. And that’s exactly the point.
After wrapping up our three-part series on burnout, we realized we’d skipped something big: ourselves. We’d been living the very cycle we were unpacking for others. And so this episode became a mirror — for us, for other DEI practitioners, and for any leader trying to “power through” in systems that don’t make room for rest.
When Passion Becomes Pressure
Doing DEI work is deeply personal. It’s emotional labor layered with strategic thinking. It demands presence, empathy, and stamina — and it often unfolds in environments where resistance is part of the job. Add to that a fast-paced consulting schedule, perfectionist tendencies (hey, guilty), and a growing list of client demands, and burnout isn’t just likely — it’s inevitable.
In our case, it came to a head after delivering four intensive trainings in Southern California in the span of a week. We were running on fumes, but pushing through anyway. Why? Because the work felt urgent. Because clients were counting on us. Because this is what we do. Until suddenly, it just wasn’t working anymore.
Dragging through LAX, we felt it in our bodies. And sitting in the mountains of Puerto Rico during a much-needed spring break, we felt it in our spirits.
The Warning Signs We Ignored
Let’s be honest. Burnout rarely arrives as a loud alarm bell. It tiptoes in. You go from energized to exhausted. From feeling creative to dreading tasks. From joyfully preparing trainings to resenting the process.
Here were some of our red flags:
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Feeling emotionally disconnected from work we care deeply about
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Not being excited about client projects or internal initiatives
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Snapping more easily — at ourselves and each other
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Working all the time, but never feeling “done”
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Sacrificing personal priorities, like quality time with family, for meetings and deadlines
And the hardest truth? We’d fallen out of alignment with our original why.
Remembering the Why
When The Norfus Firm was born, it wasn’t just about leaving corporate. It was about choosing freedom — to serve clients with integrity, to challenge harmful norms, and to build a work life that made space for the people and experiences we care about most.
But somewhere along the way, our “yes” became automatic. Our schedules became reactive. And our desire to deliver excellence started to cost us peace.
So we pressed pause. Intentionally.
What Our Pause Looked Like
We didn’t stop everything. But we did get radically honest.
With the help of financial coach Jackée Timmons (who reminded us that ROI is only part of the equation — we also need ROE: Return on Energy), we started auditing everything.
We looked at:
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Every service we offer
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Every task we do
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Every type of work interaction — from facilitation to operations
Then we asked two core questions:
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What do we love doing?
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What gives us energy, and what drains it?
From there, we built out what we now call our Energy Map. It’s simple, but powerful — a living inventory of our tasks coded into three buckets:
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Energizing: This gives us life. We feel flow. We’d do this even if we weren’t being paid (don’t tell clients that).
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Neutral: It’s fine. Not a spark of joy, but not misery either.
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Depleting: This pulls from us. It takes longer, feels heavier, and usually ends in procrastination or frustration.
The more we leaned into what energized us — and planned accordingly — the more clarity we had around what needed to shift.
Matching Energy, Not Just Effort
One of the most freeing insights we’ve had is this: Just because we can do something doesn’t mean we should.
And just because a client wants to go fast doesn’t mean we need to overextend to match their timeline — especially if they’re bringing 50% energy to the table while we’re at 150%. That kind of imbalance leads to exhaustion, not transformation.
So now, we’re more intentional. We vet for alignment, not just opportunity. We prioritize the projects that stretch us in good ways, not just busy ways. And when we’re asked to lead change, we ask: are you ready to participate in it?
Energy Is a Leadership Skill
This isn’t just a story about burnout in DEI. It’s a leadership story.
Every leader is a steward of their team’s energy. But that stewardship has to start with self-awareness. Are you modeling healthy boundaries, or signaling that exhaustion is a badge of honor? Are you matching your team’s capacity to your expectations — or pushing forward on autopilot?
We’ve learned (sometimes the hard way) that burnout doesn’t just show up as a personal issue. It becomes a cultural one. When leaders normalize depletion, the entire system starts to erode.
So what’s the alternative?
A Recommitment to What Matters
The pause wasn’t just about rest. It was about recalibration.
We’ve re-centered our offerings around the work that lights us up. We’ve made space for honest conversations about capacity and boundaries. We’ve remembered our why.
And we’re here to remind you: it’s okay to reset. In fact, it’s necessary. Especially in this work.
You can be committed and need rest.
You can be passionate and pause.
You can love your work and decide not to let it consume you.
What You Can Do Right Now
If any of this resonated with you, here are three small but powerful steps you can take today:
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Audit Your Energy: Make a list of everything you do in a typical week. Which tasks energize you? Which drain you? What could be delegated, delayed, or deleted?
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Clarify Your Why: Revisit your original reasons for doing this work. Are you still living in alignment with them?
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Have the Conversation: With your team, with a peer, or even with yourself. Talk about burnout. Name it. Normalize it. And start making decisions that support long-term sustainability.
Because this work matters. And so do you.
Connect With Us
If you found this discussion compelling, we invite you to connect with us further. Here are some ways to stay in touch:
- Follow Natalie Norfus on LinkedIn
- Follow Shanté Gordon on LinkedIn
- Book a consultation with The Norfus Firm
- Follow What’s the DEIL on Instagram and TikTok
